Image via WikipediaWouldn't it be wonderful if all relationships were blissful all of the time? Maybe, but we all live in the real world and this means we often face real difficulties. Sure, a love relationship may start off euphoric, because the two of you are so in love. Then for some reason, things begin to change. The novelty starts to wear off and before you know it you're looking for relationship rescue methods in the hopes of keeping the relationship alive. If any of this sounds familiar, you're not alone. The good news is that there are plenty of things you can do to keep your love fresh as mountain air.
Taking each other for granted is one of the biggest threats you'll face in having a strong relationship. However, this pattern can be hard to detect, because you're presuming too much. The way to battle this is to take a step back and look at things objectively. Put yourself in your partner's shoes, this will help you to be less judgmental. Don't assume anything about their motives or feelings and focuse on their positve attributes. It is always better to build people up than to pick them apart.
The lines of communication must remain open. If they were never really open, then you will have to learn how to talk to each other in a healthy way. This should not be difficult, you can learn how to do this with practice. The small investment you make in learning how to talk to each other will pay off in a big way in the long run.
A really good relationship rescue technique is to live as though each day could be the last one you will ever spend with your partner. When you do this, all of those little things that annoy you won't really matter. You will have a new appreciation for what you have, and you will focus much less on the negative things. Doing this will put the two of you on the right track to being a healthy couple.
Remember, you will reap what you sow. Use this relationship rescue technique to improve yourself and any relationship. Whether it is your marital relationship or your relationship with co-workers and friends.
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Relationship Rescue
Relationship rescue is really about taking positive, proactive steps and finally taking responsibility for your relationship. It's about having accountability for the only thing you can really control and that is yourself.
Saturday, June 25, 2011
Friday, December 17, 2010
Relationship Rescue - Self Help May Save Your Relationship
Image via WikipediaMany people are uncomfortable with airing their 'dirty laundry' in public. They just don't want to sit down with a therapist and hash out their troubles. They do, however, want help for those troubles and for those people relationship self help is as close as the internet.
There are many fine books and other resources online that will help the two of you find your way back to the love you once felt for each other. You don't have to go to a therapist if that idea makes you uncomfortable, you can do it yourself.
If you are unsure where to start, simply do a search for forums that are centered around relationships. Here you will likely be able to get recommendations on some great self help resources, as well as some excellent advice from others in the forum.
Frankly, a lot of relationship problems start because only one person is trying. It's not uncommon to have relationships where one person simply doesn't care and the other person is the one who does all the heavy lifting.
This manner of interaction can only last so long. After a while, the one doing all the work becomes fed up and stops trying. From that point on it becomes a mud slide.
Take a minute, be honest and take a long hard look at your relationship. If you find that this describes your relationship, you must know that it won't be impossible but it will be a lot harder to turn things around.
You and your partner need to carefully look at the problems in your relationship. Try to figure out what the problems are, and be honest, and sit down to find alternative ways of acting or treating each other.
Please keep in mind that a turn around won't happen overnight. If you or your partner is expecting a quick fix you will be disappointed. If you expect this process to be quick and easy and it takes longer than you expected, it's possible that you will give up because you think it's simply not going to work out.
Instead, maintain realistic expectations and be willing to stick with it until you see some progress. If both of you are really trying, things will get better it's just a matter of time.
The basic recipe is to find what is causing the problems between you and your partner. Discuse the possibilities on how to correct those problems. In most cases this will mean changing some of your habits and renewing your attitude. This takes time so patience is required.
It sounds easy, but it will take enormous commitment from both of you to make it work. The good news is that if you are both committed you can do it and it's pretty easy to find all the relationship self help you will need. A light hearted approach is helpful. Can you both dance?
Attending a wedding for the first time, a little girl whispered to her mother, "Why is the bride dressed in white?" The mother replied, "Because white is the color of happiness and today is the happiest day of her life."
The child thought about this for a moment then said, "So why is the groom wearing black?"
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There are many fine books and other resources online that will help the two of you find your way back to the love you once felt for each other. You don't have to go to a therapist if that idea makes you uncomfortable, you can do it yourself.
If you are unsure where to start, simply do a search for forums that are centered around relationships. Here you will likely be able to get recommendations on some great self help resources, as well as some excellent advice from others in the forum.
Frankly, a lot of relationship problems start because only one person is trying. It's not uncommon to have relationships where one person simply doesn't care and the other person is the one who does all the heavy lifting.
This manner of interaction can only last so long. After a while, the one doing all the work becomes fed up and stops trying. From that point on it becomes a mud slide.
Take a minute, be honest and take a long hard look at your relationship. If you find that this describes your relationship, you must know that it won't be impossible but it will be a lot harder to turn things around.
You and your partner need to carefully look at the problems in your relationship. Try to figure out what the problems are, and be honest, and sit down to find alternative ways of acting or treating each other.
Please keep in mind that a turn around won't happen overnight. If you or your partner is expecting a quick fix you will be disappointed. If you expect this process to be quick and easy and it takes longer than you expected, it's possible that you will give up because you think it's simply not going to work out.
Instead, maintain realistic expectations and be willing to stick with it until you see some progress. If both of you are really trying, things will get better it's just a matter of time.
The basic recipe is to find what is causing the problems between you and your partner. Discuse the possibilities on how to correct those problems. In most cases this will mean changing some of your habits and renewing your attitude. This takes time so patience is required.
It sounds easy, but it will take enormous commitment from both of you to make it work. The good news is that if you are both committed you can do it and it's pretty easy to find all the relationship self help you will need. A light hearted approach is helpful. Can you both dance?
Attending a wedding for the first time, a little girl whispered to her mother, "Why is the bride dressed in white?" The mother replied, "Because white is the color of happiness and today is the happiest day of her life."
The child thought about this for a moment then said, "So why is the groom wearing black?"
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Related articles
- It's not you, it's me: The truth behind the excuse (psychologytoday.com)
Monday, December 13, 2010
Relationship Rescue - Can You Both Dance?
Image via WikipediaWhile it's never too late to turn a relationship around, the longer you wait the harder it will be to change course in direction of where your relationship is heading. Try to nip problems in the bud before they become deep-rooted patterns of behavior, which will become much harder to deal with down the road.
It is nearly impossible to fix trouble in a relationship if you are the only one trying. Look at your relationship as if it where a dance. They face each other, standing close and gaze into each other's eyes. Their left hands touch, he puts his right arm around her waist and she puts her right hand on his shoulder. He leads in step and she follows, keeping in step and moving across the dance floor in harmony as if you both were one. It takes two to tango and of course, this can only be done if both partners are on the same page, dancing the same dance.
The ballroom is the world around you, the dance floor is the everyday tasks and challenges you both face. Ask your partner to dance, embrace each other, glide through the tasks and step over the challenges. Doing this together as if it where a dance may give each of you a new and positve perspective. Is it possible that matters are not as bad as they once seemed?
Attitude is everything, a good attitude produces positive results. The dance metaphor denotes a joyful or light hearted attitude, which is what people have when they dance.
So, if you feel up to it and I hope you do. Ask your partner if he/she will forgive and forget. Clear the slate and make ready the dance floor. You and your partner could actually go a step further and take ballroom dance lessons, have fun!
It is nearly impossible to fix trouble in a relationship if you are the only one trying. Look at your relationship as if it where a dance. They face each other, standing close and gaze into each other's eyes. Their left hands touch, he puts his right arm around her waist and she puts her right hand on his shoulder. He leads in step and she follows, keeping in step and moving across the dance floor in harmony as if you both were one. It takes two to tango and of course, this can only be done if both partners are on the same page, dancing the same dance.
The ballroom is the world around you, the dance floor is the everyday tasks and challenges you both face. Ask your partner to dance, embrace each other, glide through the tasks and step over the challenges. Doing this together as if it where a dance may give each of you a new and positve perspective. Is it possible that matters are not as bad as they once seemed?
Attitude is everything, a good attitude produces positive results. The dance metaphor denotes a joyful or light hearted attitude, which is what people have when they dance.
So, if you feel up to it and I hope you do. Ask your partner if he/she will forgive and forget. Clear the slate and make ready the dance floor. You and your partner could actually go a step further and take ballroom dance lessons, have fun!
Friday, February 13, 2009
Rescue Your Relationship Using Surprisingly Simple Ways to Stop Your Divorce
As you read every word of these posts, I'll share with you some surprisingly simple ways to bring your marriage out from the threshold of destruction. Keep in mind however that it will take a commitment of both partners to prevent a crash and burn of your relationship.
If you are going through that terrible time when you or your partner feels like the marriage is coming to an end and you find yourself praying... "Lord, please stop my divorce!" you aren't alone. There are many who have gone through this and have managed to save their marriage. Also, there are plenty who haven't but found themselves happy again afterwards. There are actions that you can take to help stop a divorce or correct problems before they get to that point.
Listen, first you must realize, that as much as you may want to save your relationship you may not be able to. Make sure that you prepare yourself mentally for any possible outcome. This isn't thinking pessimistically, it is being realistic which is what you need to be.
But wait, there's more... you'll need to honestly consider whether or not your partner will be willing to work on the relationship too. No matter how sincere and motivated you are to make changes, it will take both of you working together to get back to the good ole days. You can't do it alone, and neither can your partner. If you aren't both committed to making it work, it's time to move on.
Important stuff here, listen up. If the situation is really bad, why not make use of family therapy or seek out marriage counseling. Therapists are well trained and have lots of practical experience in helping people get through these times of trouble. Even if there is adultery involved, they can help.
Many marriages have been brought back from the brink of destruction because of counseling and therapy. Counselers are accustomed to dealing with infidelity, depression or most other situations that stress a relationship to the point of divorce. Marriage counseling isn’t always expensive there are many options out there for you to use. For instance, a relationship guide or a save my marriage book is a good starting point. Seek good relationship rescue advice before you see a divorce lawyer!
What You Should Not Do
One thing you can learn not to do that may help stop your divorce is... don’t argue. Easier said than done, right! But arguing only makes the situation worse. Try calling it reasoning or discussing buy not raising your voice. The truth is that arguing is the same as trying to force your partner to feel differently than they do. Rather than force the issue, try reason. If you are serious and you want to "stop my divorce" you must realize that your battle is about your separation, not your spouse. The more you argue with them trying to point out where they are wrong, the more they will be wrong in your mind.
Don't try to defend yourself. You may be right, but don't try to convince them of that. Find the truths in their argument and compromise through reason. The more you can compromise through reason, the closer you will be to reaching an agreement. This will help them see that you are willing to do what it takes to iron out the problems. You want them to see your side of the story. If you are willing to be honest and accept some of what they are trying to say, then they will more likely be open to listening to your point of view. Marriage counseling is great at helping you understand how to communicate better if you really want to "stop my divorce."
You probably don't want your relationship to be another unsuccessful marriage statistic, do you? Most relationships can be turned around. Again, I must mention that both parties have to want it to happen.
You might have to sway your partner into believing your marriage is worth saving. Keep in mind that both of you have to work at it. The next few months just might be the most difficult you have seen in the history of your relationship. But when you get through the rut, you'll find that your marriage is stronger and happier than it ever was. Now isn't that worth fighting for?
If you are going through that terrible time when you or your partner feels like the marriage is coming to an end and you find yourself praying... "Lord, please stop my divorce!" you aren't alone. There are many who have gone through this and have managed to save their marriage. Also, there are plenty who haven't but found themselves happy again afterwards. There are actions that you can take to help stop a divorce or correct problems before they get to that point.
Listen, first you must realize, that as much as you may want to save your relationship you may not be able to. Make sure that you prepare yourself mentally for any possible outcome. This isn't thinking pessimistically, it is being realistic which is what you need to be.
But wait, there's more... you'll need to honestly consider whether or not your partner will be willing to work on the relationship too. No matter how sincere and motivated you are to make changes, it will take both of you working together to get back to the good ole days. You can't do it alone, and neither can your partner. If you aren't both committed to making it work, it's time to move on.
Important stuff here, listen up. If the situation is really bad, why not make use of family therapy or seek out marriage counseling. Therapists are well trained and have lots of practical experience in helping people get through these times of trouble. Even if there is adultery involved, they can help.
Many marriages have been brought back from the brink of destruction because of counseling and therapy. Counselers are accustomed to dealing with infidelity, depression or most other situations that stress a relationship to the point of divorce. Marriage counseling isn’t always expensive there are many options out there for you to use. For instance, a relationship guide or a save my marriage book is a good starting point. Seek good relationship rescue advice before you see a divorce lawyer!
What You Should Not Do
One thing you can learn not to do that may help stop your divorce is... don’t argue. Easier said than done, right! But arguing only makes the situation worse. Try calling it reasoning or discussing buy not raising your voice. The truth is that arguing is the same as trying to force your partner to feel differently than they do. Rather than force the issue, try reason. If you are serious and you want to "stop my divorce" you must realize that your battle is about your separation, not your spouse. The more you argue with them trying to point out where they are wrong, the more they will be wrong in your mind.
Don't try to defend yourself. You may be right, but don't try to convince them of that. Find the truths in their argument and compromise through reason. The more you can compromise through reason, the closer you will be to reaching an agreement. This will help them see that you are willing to do what it takes to iron out the problems. You want them to see your side of the story. If you are willing to be honest and accept some of what they are trying to say, then they will more likely be open to listening to your point of view. Marriage counseling is great at helping you understand how to communicate better if you really want to "stop my divorce."
You probably don't want your relationship to be another unsuccessful marriage statistic, do you? Most relationships can be turned around. Again, I must mention that both parties have to want it to happen.
You might have to sway your partner into believing your marriage is worth saving. Keep in mind that both of you have to work at it. The next few months just might be the most difficult you have seen in the history of your relationship. But when you get through the rut, you'll find that your marriage is stronger and happier than it ever was. Now isn't that worth fighting for?
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
Relationship Rescue, Can it Work?
You might say, "It's impossible" or "I've lost all hope". However, at this point in time, what else have you got to lose? If you want to rescue your relationship, you must hold on to that hope!
This is not about changing your partner. No amount of begging, blaming, shaming, force or manipulation will work and will only cause your spouse to resent you more. Niether will making yourself out to be the victim ever be beneficial.
True love will require compromise many times. You must be willing to bend your will and change up some things to make the relationship work. If there is to be a relationship rescue, you need to take a look at yourself to see what sort of things you might need to change and work on to be more compatible with your partner.
For instance you could tell your spouse, "I love you" with a kiss for no particular reason or tell them how much you appreciate the things they do. No matter how small or how great they are. Give complements and reinforce a positive attitude. This will bring joy and harmony back into your relationship. Little things such as these have great effects.
A major step of any relationship rescue is to change your perspective. For many people perception is a reality, but it can be a false reality. You might think you’re in the worst situation possible but then after a change of perspective, it may not seem all that bad. People have a way of blowing things out of proportion. In failing relationships this is especially true.
Quite a bit of marriage counseling deals with this bit of relationship rescue. Look closely at situations from different angles. Your spouse/partner may seem like they work too much but could it be worse? Yes, they could be hopelessly unemployed and struggling to find work. What ever the situation is, both of you are in this together. Look at it from a positive point of view. Low and behold a solution will shine through.
Talk through the negative situation and when things are settled, drop it and move on. Many of the problems that relationships face are due to the fact that there is one in the relationship or maybe both persons who hold on to grudges. Don't let that happen.
If there was something that happened in the past that has been dealt with or resolved, then let it go. There is no future in the past. When you do have discussions or arguments don't bring up the past. Deal with the present.
Listen to the advise of Katherine Mansfield, "Make it a rule of life never to regret and never to look back. Regret is an appalling waste of energy. You can't build on it. It's only good for wallowing in."
If you are truly willing to see your relationship rescued, these ideas will help you and the one you love breath new life into your relationship.
Helpful Relationship Rescue Resources:
Magic of Making Up
Save My Marriage
Next Page
This is not about changing your partner. No amount of begging, blaming, shaming, force or manipulation will work and will only cause your spouse to resent you more. Niether will making yourself out to be the victim ever be beneficial.
True love will require compromise many times. You must be willing to bend your will and change up some things to make the relationship work. If there is to be a relationship rescue, you need to take a look at yourself to see what sort of things you might need to change and work on to be more compatible with your partner.
For instance you could tell your spouse, "I love you" with a kiss for no particular reason or tell them how much you appreciate the things they do. No matter how small or how great they are. Give complements and reinforce a positive attitude. This will bring joy and harmony back into your relationship. Little things such as these have great effects.
A major step of any relationship rescue is to change your perspective. For many people perception is a reality, but it can be a false reality. You might think you’re in the worst situation possible but then after a change of perspective, it may not seem all that bad. People have a way of blowing things out of proportion. In failing relationships this is especially true.
Quite a bit of marriage counseling deals with this bit of relationship rescue. Look closely at situations from different angles. Your spouse/partner may seem like they work too much but could it be worse? Yes, they could be hopelessly unemployed and struggling to find work. What ever the situation is, both of you are in this together. Look at it from a positive point of view. Low and behold a solution will shine through.
Talk through the negative situation and when things are settled, drop it and move on. Many of the problems that relationships face are due to the fact that there is one in the relationship or maybe both persons who hold on to grudges. Don't let that happen.
If there was something that happened in the past that has been dealt with or resolved, then let it go. There is no future in the past. When you do have discussions or arguments don't bring up the past. Deal with the present.
Listen to the advise of Katherine Mansfield, "Make it a rule of life never to regret and never to look back. Regret is an appalling waste of energy. You can't build on it. It's only good for wallowing in."
If you are truly willing to see your relationship rescued, these ideas will help you and the one you love breath new life into your relationship.
Helpful Relationship Rescue Resources:
Magic of Making Up
Save My Marriage
Next Page
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compromise,
marriage,
marriage counseling,
relationship rescue
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