If you are going through that terrible time when you or your partner feels like the marriage is coming to an end and you find yourself praying... "Lord, please stop my divorce!" you aren't alone. There are many who have gone through this and have managed to save their marriage. Also, there are plenty who haven't but found themselves happy again afterwards. There are actions that you can take to help stop a divorce or correct problems before they get to that point.
Listen, first you must realize, that as much as you may want to save your relationship you may not be able to. Make sure that you prepare yourself mentally for any possible outcome. This isn't thinking pessimistically, it is being realistic which is what you need to be.
But wait, there's more... you'll need to honestly consider whether or not your partner will be willing to work on the relationship too. No matter how sincere and motivated you are to make changes, it will take both of you working together to get back to the good ole days. You can't do it alone, and neither can your partner. If you aren't both committed to making it work, it's time to move on.
Important stuff here, listen up. If the situation is really bad, why not make use of family therapy or seek out marriage counseling. Therapists are well trained and have lots of practical experience in helping people get through these times of trouble. Even if there is adultery involved, they can help.
Many marriages have been brought back from the brink of destruction because of counseling and therapy. Counselers are accustomed to dealing with infidelity, depression or most other situations that stress a relationship to the point of divorce. Marriage counseling isn’t always expensive there are many options out there for you to use. For instance, a relationship guide or a save my marriage book is a good starting point. Seek good relationship rescue advice before you see a divorce lawyer!
What You Should Not Do
One thing you can learn not to do that may help stop your divorce is... don’t argue. Easier said than done, right! But arguing only makes the situation worse. Try calling it reasoning or discussing buy not raising your voice. The truth is that arguing is the same as trying to force your partner to feel differently than they do. Rather than force the issue, try reason. If you are serious and you want to "stop my divorce" you must realize that your battle is about your separation, not your spouse. The more you argue with them trying to point out where they are wrong, the more they will be wrong in your mind.
Don't try to defend yourself. You may be right, but don't try to convince them of that. Find the truths in their argument and compromise through reason. The more you can compromise through reason, the closer you will be to reaching an agreement. This will help them see that you are willing to do what it takes to iron out the problems. You want them to see your side of the story. If you are willing to be honest and accept some of what they are trying to say, then they will more likely be open to listening to your point of view. Marriage counseling is great at helping you understand how to communicate better if you really want to "stop my divorce."
You probably don't want your relationship to be another unsuccessful marriage statistic, do you? Most relationships can be turned around. Again, I must mention that both parties have to want it to happen.
You might have to sway your partner into believing your marriage is worth saving. Keep in mind that both of you have to work at it. The next few months just might be the most difficult you have seen in the history of your relationship. But when you get through the rut, you'll find that your marriage is stronger and happier than it ever was. Now isn't that worth fighting for?
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